Confessions of a Non-Coffee Drinker

Confessions of a Non-Coffee Drinker

How most people feel about coffee

I confess...I’ve never been one for coffee.  Some of you are completely flabbergasted by this news. Who doesn’t like coffee? What yoga-pants-wearing, sock-bun-sporting, Netflix-watching white girl isn’t dreaming of the day the pumpkin spice latte is back at Starbucks every fall?? 

Oh no! You don't like coffee?!?

I know I’m a freak of nature, okay? This was first made clear to me early into my freshman year in college, when every study night or first “date” happened in a coffee house and I ordered chai tea or--even better--peppermint hot chocolate. But chai doesn't quite have the zing to keep you going when pulling all-nighters, and hot chocolate comes with a much higher calorie count than the black coffee or even the flavored creamers many of my friends were guzzling. 

The age I feel drinking hot chocolate when everyone else has coffee

Later in college I did internships. My first was with the county prosecutor—government employees go through gallons of coffee a day, and it does not have to be quality. The sludge in the pot from two hours prior does just fine for them as long as it’s caffeinated.  My second internship was with a senator from my home state in Washington, D.C. I will say that the people in the senate have a little higher standards—they walked blocks underground to get to coffee shops in the Senate buildings each morning before work, for 10 a.m. refills, and again for 3 p.m. pick-me-ups.  I got chai the first couple days, and then gave up and just brought Diet Dr Pepper in my purse so I could caffeinate in peace at my desk. I would walk with them occasionally for social purposes but I was definitely mocked for not getting coffee!

Adorable coffee station that will never be appropriate in my house

Then I did a year of law school. Dang. Law students treat coffee like an idol—at least until it’s time for alcohol! In our student lounge there was a regular coffee pot, a Keurig, and a coffee/cappuccino machine, all within about 3 feet of each other. The upside of the cappuccino machine that I noticed was that I could get hot chocolate and people would just assume it was a mocha latte. 22 years old and still noticing--and even caring about--my classmates' opinions. What a sad state of affairs. 

I really want to relate!

Now, I’m in an office with 30 other people and the majority of them are coffee drinkers. There are a few coffee fanatics, but there are also at least two other non-coffee-drinkers so I’m finally not alone! The downside for the rest of the office is that I’m the office manager and another of the non-coffee-drinkers is the boss so we don’t always notice when the coffee or related items are getting low.
I understand that coffee is “an acquired taste” but I’ve never been able to get past the acquiring phase. Here’s the thing though—I absolutely love the smell of coffee. Even back in college, I had a coffee pot in my room and would make a cup in the mornings just to have the smell in my room. I tried mixing in hot chocolate powder a few times and actually drinking it, but I couldn’t quite force myself to get it all down.  My husband enjoys coffee but isn’t addicted to it by any means, so we keep a coffee pot in the house for guests or his occasional cups but it isn’t very heavily used. In fact, in our old apartment, it sat on a top shelf because our counter space was so limited and only came down four or five times in the two years we lived there.

I love Lorelai Gilmore

It does make me a little sad to see the cute hipster t-shirts with coffee related sayings or the awesome coffee stations and d├ęcor all over Pinterest.  It makes me sad that the adorable coffee mugs in the cupboard rarely get used. It makes me sad that everyone else really enjoys Starbucks dates and I just tolerate them. It makes me sad that everyone else can bond other their mutual love and understanding of the coffee lifestyle and I’m on the sidelines. It makes me sad when other people lord their coffee-loving-grown-up taste buds over mine or say in shocked tone “How can you not love coffee?? I couldn’t bear to live without it!” It makes me sad that this is one more thing that separates me from Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.

But I've decided to focus on the positives and let my freak flag fly! I save TONS of money on not needing to run to Starbucks or other coffee shops all the time, or even having a Keurig at home because those things are pricey, especially once you factor in the price of the K-Cups. We still have a Mr Coffee pot for guests or if I'm wanting some coffee scent, as I sometimes do in the winter. I'm not staining my teeth with daily coffee baths. I'm not over-caffeinating and then crashing throughout my workdays. Not drinking coffee means that I'm definitely not drinking hyped-up-candy-in-a-cup types of coffee like the infamous pumpkin spice latte, so I'm avoiding all of those calories. Plus, coffee appears to be addictive, so that's one less addiction or dependency in my life. But chin up! There’s always my obsession with sushi. 


What about you guys? Coffee-love it or hate it? What is something that you don't like that everyone else seems to love? Leave your answers in the comments below!

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